Eric Hodel (drbrain) wrote,
Eric Hodel

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They say every man has his price

I seem to have undervalued mine in the past, and still do. Lately I've been helping people in my classes study, and they've been repaying me in food. One girl, Natalie, payed for dinner the other night in exchange for some help on her program. Angi offered to take me out to dinner because I had an email conversation with her about her database midterm.

When people do these things for me, I feel like I'm getting more in return for what I've given them. This is starting to bug me, the dinner Natalie bought for me cost her about $10, and we talked for over an hour, so effectively, she got the good end of the deal. If I called in Angi's offer of dinner, I'd get far better treatment, and I did even less for her.

This probably isn't the right way to feel, but I do. I find it scary when other people value me higher than I value myself. I just want to feel like I'm just like them, that I've got nothing that they don't already have. But I don't, I really dislike being more intelligent, as i appear to know what I'm talking about more often than anyone else.


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